This week we will officially be welcoming another member to the family as our youngest son gets married on Saturday. They had originally planned for a May wedding but decided to have a small intimate ceremony now and a big party in May.
I was prepared for May, or should I say I was preparing for May. I had time to process and let go of another child, now I move in fast forward watching the baby of the family take on the role of husband. Reading that last sentence brings tears to my eyes. Where did the time go? It is true what they say about parenting, “The days are long but the years are short.”
Don’t misunderstand, my son has a beautiful fiancée, and I am thrilled to have her as one of my daughters, but it is not easy for a Mama’s heart to let go of her babies no matter what their age.
Qualities A Husband Should Have
You hope you have given them all the tools and resources they need to succeed. You spend sleepless nights praying for them and investing in them to be strong, independent and happy individuals. Before you realize it, they are no longer the four-year-old you woke up to yesterday, but grown up and sharing their life with someone else.
And so, as this week brings a new role for my son, I thought I would share a few qualities a good husband should possess. These qualities are the very ones he witnessed first hand as he grew up.
1 – Chivalry is not dead
I know society may say different, but I believe chivalry is an important part of a relationship. Opening up doors for your wife, kissing her hello and goodbye, giving her flowers “just because,” and calling her during work are a few of the ways to show your wife you not only love her, but you respect and value her.
2 – Love is a choice
There will be great days in your marriage, but there will be rough days as well. Some days love will come easy, and other days it may be a little harder. Remember, love isn’t a feeling; it’s a choice. You made a choice to love and spend the rest of your life with her, so don’t forget that on the harder days. If you concentrate on the positives of your relationship, it will make it harder for the negatives to take control.
3- She is your number one
Remember your wife comes first. Before the video game, before your game night with the boys, before your family and even before your future children. One of the best ways my husband showed me I was the most important person to him was when he’d come home from work. The kids would run and meet him at the door, and he would say his hello’s and get his hugs, but once he stepped through the door, I was first in line. My husband would sit down next to me for the first 20 minutes and give me his attention.
4 – Listen to her
Women need to talk and get their emotions out, but there will be times where she doesn’t need advice, opinions or solutions. Sometimes she just needs a shoulder to lean on or arms to hold her as she processes whatever she may be going through. Be that soft place for her to fall.
5 – When The Time Comes, Be A Great Daddy
There is a quote that says – “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy.” One of the best ways to love the mother of your children is to be a hands-on dad. There is nothing that says only the woman should get up in the middle of the night with a sleepless baby, nor is there a rule where a man is the only one who gets to sleep in on a weekend. If marriage is 100/100, it makes sense then the same should apply to parenting.
As I watch my son take on probably the greatest role of his life, I am thankful he has had such a great example in his Dad to show him what is needed to be a loving husband.