Welcome to the New Year!
This is the time of year many will reflect on 2016 and make resolutions to better themselves in 2017.
But if you’re like me resolutions are short lived and only leave a feeling of guilt by the end of January when you realize you didn’t keep those promises and goals for very long.
As I reflect back on 2016, there have been times when I allowed negativity and toxicity to define me. This year I am determined to take control and be the driving force in being my most authentic self.
5 Steps To A Better Me
1- I Will Stop Trying To Please Everyone
I am a fixer by nature. I have a heart that wants to make people happy, even at my own expense. But this past year, I found I have a tendency to put the happiness of others before what is best for me.
“We need to find the courage to say no to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” ~ Barbara De Angelis
I’ve done this my whole life, and while I have been aware of it for years, it is time for me to realize saying ‘No’ is not only best for me but might be best for the greater good.
2- I Will Not Fear Change
There have been times when I refused to make changes out of fear. Fear of how it would affect my family and what stress it would cause them.
Six months ago, I a made a significant change and quit my job. Within minutes of giving my notice, I worried I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Where would the extra money come from? How long could we last on one income? What if the new goal of pursuing my life long dream of being a writer, proved I couldn’t write at all?
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” ~ Socrates
I still have those fears, but this year, I will not focus on them. I will concentrate on the lessons I learn about myself in this new venture.
I will take one day at a time, and when that becomes too overwhelming, I will take one second and one-minute intervals and not stress about what tomorrow may bring.
3- I Will No Longer Live In The Past
I will reflect on the past and see how far I have come or maybe how far I have to go; after all the past can be a beautiful place to visit but it is not a productive place to stay.
“Our eyes are in front because it is better to look ahead than to look back. Don’t dwell on the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward.” ~ Unknown
I must be willing to let go of the memories that haunt me, keep the memories I can use to teach future lessons, and cherish the memories that helped bring happiness. I will let go of the negative emotion that arises from dwelling on times that have already passed.
4- I Will Stop Putting Myself Down
It has always been important for me to speak positive, encouraging words to people. I believe, speaking life into people may be the single most important thing we can do for someone during the day. But I have not been successful when it comes to encouraging myself.
“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” ~ Lisa M. Hayes
Years of self-loathing have filled my head and affected the way I go about my day. There are times I am comfortable in my own skin, but those moments are rare.
Understanding that what I feel at any given moment isn’t a direct reflection of who I am, and it will no longer be allowed to dictate my mood.
5- I Will Stop Overthinking
I think ahead.
I think behind.
I think sideways.
I think ALL the time!
“Overthinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry & just make everything much worse than it actually is!” ~ Anonymous
Give me a minor problem or situation, and I can inflate it into a monster problem. It’s how my mind has always worked. I am the proverbial molehills into mountain worrier. And what has it ever done for me? Given me, stress and anxiety, causing me to live a limited life.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~ Brene Brown
A Better Me
And so here is to 2017 and the work needing to be done to become a more defined & authentic me.
As we begin a new year, don’t forget to take care of yourself.
When you love yourself enough, you will start leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. People, jobs, or anything placing limits on who you are. Remember, taking care of yourself first isn’t being disloyal to others. It is loving you so you can be the best you for those you love.
What steps will you take this year to take control in living an authentic life?