What Is May Not Be
Last week our community sat in disbelief as we first heard of the breaking news in our area. Law enforcement set up a sting operation where over 1,000 people responded to online child sex ads.
The arrests of 26 men in the “Tri-Cities Net Nanny Operation” took place between July 5th-9th and almost all of those arrested consisted of members in our modest 250,000 plus community.
The news was shocking enough for our area, but once the names were released, many of us would be left sitting in shocked silence as one or more of the names listed were familiar to us.
John was one of those names.
I remember scrolling down the article to the list of names of those who were in custody.
When I first read the article, I didn’t see his last name. Even then my heart and mind tried to prevent me from recognizing anyone on the list. Once I read the article, I closed it down, heartbroken for the families this will impact. But it wasn’t long before a nagging thought inside sent me back to re-read the article, and it only took a few seconds to see his name.
John, 40 years old.
Husband & Father of four
Youth Mentor
Youth and Children’s Pastor
Friend
John and I had been children’s pastors in different churches several years ago. For at least three years, we would each take our group of kids to the same kids camp and years later after we had both stepped down from children’s ministry, we would once again reconnect when he became a customer of the bank where I formerly worked.
After reading that John was one of the 26 men arrested in the child sex sting, I realize that every emotion I’ve experienced this past week is the same emotion a person goes through when someone dies.
Shock & Denial – The shock alone that so many in our community partook of this horrific crime, left me numb for days. Denial was there the first time a read the article when my mind wouldn’t even register that a friend was among those arrested.
Pain & Guilt – My heartache was massive as I thought of the families of these men and how their coming days will be some of the darkest days they will ever experience. Guilt came in me too; what had I missed all those years ago when I worked with John.
Anger & Betrayal – Standing alongside this man, praying for children at the altar is one of the fondest memories for me from when I was a children’s pastor.
Today, I find myself angry for the parents who are suffering betrayal as they now need to have conversations with their children (most of them adults now) to make sure nothing happened.
Depression & Heartbroken – There is a deep sadness that is now running through our community, and even more so for the families of these men. Women and children shattered by these acts will now face life as widows and orphans.
Acceptance & Hope – Acceptance doesn’t condone what has happened, and it doesn’t lessen the pain, but it is necessary to move forward towards healing the heartbroken.
Death is probably one of the most challenging things a person can face, but perhaps the greatest pain is the loss of a person who is very much alive and realizing we never really knew them.
As our community maneuvers through the grieving process of this reprehensible week, I ask for your prayers.
Pray for the victims.
The children, the families of these men, the friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
Also, remember the task force and law enforcement who had to interact and have detailed conversations to catch these people.
To our community or any community that has dealt with something like this, I encourage you to be kind to the families who are victims themselves. Remember empathy and not to judge them based on someone else’s actions.
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ~ Steve Maraboli
KatieMae is Kathi Denn. Local Kennewick Author, Writer, Wife, Mother to four, Friend to many, on a journey to make an impact in my world, one word at a time.
Excellent post. You took a very difficult subject and handled it delicately and I agree, finding out someone is not who you thought they were requires grieving. Especially when you really thought you knew them. I’ll pray for those involved and I loved that you also asked for prayer for the families of those who were involved as well as the victims.
I ageee with you, Anne. A difficult subject handled well.
Wow. I don’t know what I would do if the same thing happened to me! I had a friend end up committing rape, and it was mentally just… Anyway, I don’t know, when it’s children it hits me pretty hard so I’d have been in the anger stage pretty long. Prayers for everyone envolved, and I am so sorry this is a reality for your community!
Thank you for sharing, Kathi, and I hope your words can help heal others in your community. I went through a similar situation a few years back. I was a teacher in a public school here, and the custodian, Brian, ended up being convicted of having sex with a minor. He was charged and put in jail. Brian was, what I thought, a friend of mine. He always had a smile on his face, and his son (I taught in my class), was quiet, but he clung to me in class. Brian said that I was his son’s favorite teacher. After hearing the charges, I was angry, mostly confused, and I felt sick for his victim (and his kids), and what they had to be going through. Yes, pray is what I did after learning of this horrible crime. This was all I could do. Thanks for sharing.
This would be so hard to come to terms with. When these things happen you don’t stop to think that people know the perpetrators of these crimes. They are fathers, brothers, uncles, friends, and neighbors. It’s hard to fathom. We want to put these people in a box and label it “monster.” But they’re people just like us. That’s what makes something like this so hard. Sending prayers to you and everyone affected by these events.
This is heartbreaking. I cannot imagine the pain that your community has gone through. I feel sorry for the families that have had to deal with this head-on. Your post addressed the situation wonderfully. I hope that it is able to heal some of those that are dealing with the same feelings as you did. I will be praying all of those involved.
Such a tough subject. It’s like when I found out an old friend was jailed because of a suspected terrorist attack…
Just reading other’s comments here and thinking of how my own life has been impacted by events and people like this I wonder what more can we do?
I used to drive a particular rural route on trips to my in-laws and a bilboard always caught my eye. The message announced help for people having sexual thoughts about children. I’d like to think that some people acted–they reached out to find out why they had those thoughts and ways to reprogram themselves. I’d like to think that.
I have no answers. My heart breaks for all the families affected by this and things like this.
Thank you for bringing this forward. I hope the conversation continues so more tragedies can be averted.
Thank you all for your comments and prayers. I wish this were something we didn’t have to talk about, but sadly this goes on in almost every community these days, and as I read statistics on this topic it is only growing every day at massive rates. But there are so many more cases not known about or being reported.
My heart is hopeful that one day, these types of crimes against children, will decline and we can create a safe world for everyone.
I know it’s an uphill battle, but by bringing awareness and joining together in exposing it, each of us can do our part in building safer communities for everyone.
Thank you all for your thoughts and support.