When Bad Things Happen, Look Ahead
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. Because it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
This week our family has been punched in the gut, and for the first time in 38 years of marriage, I am witnessing a side of my husband I ‘ve never seen before.
He’s the strong one; he’s the one I run to when chaos and anxiety fill me, leaving me paralyzed in a puddle on the floor.
He’s the one who reminds me that “we are fine today.”
But the table has turned this week and I’ve watched him sit and stare blankly across the room as he tries to make sense of the events that have unfolded.
He is lost.
The blow he received this week has turned his world upside down, leaving him dazed, confused and wondering what he is going to do.
And the strangest thing about it all is, I am at peace.
Life isn’t without its trials.
When you are cruising through life, you rarely consider what may be waiting for you around the corner.
And then suddenly you feel it.
It’s the rug being pulled out from under you.
The punch to the gut that knocks the wind out of you causing you to question everything around you, including yourself.
It leaves you feeling hopeless.
How do you recover when suddenly you’re faced with an unexpected challenge?
Here is what I’ve been encouraging my husband to do. The truth is, these are the words he has used on me when I am overwhelmed.
1- You Know Who You Are
“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”
Every day we are faced with thoughts and opinions from others, and it is easy to lose yourself. The number one thing you must remember is that you know who you are in spite of their views. As you go about your day, forming relationships, taking on new challenges in your career, encountering obstacles, and celebrating accomplishments in life, take the time to remind yourself of who you’ve come to be and not who other people have deemed you to be.
2- Take One Day at a Time
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom
When life turns upside down, the critical thing to remember here is not to focus on what has happened in the past. You can’t change the past, and worrying about the future, will only leave you living a stagnant life of fear and uncertainty.
Taking a quote from my wise husband, “You are fine today.“
3 – When Hope is Lost, Keep The Faith
“Why not take a chance on faith? Not religion, but faith. Not hope, but faith. I don’t believe in hope. Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it.” ~ Jim Carrey
Let’s face it; you can go through life hoping for success. The perfect job, the ideal relationship, the perfect anything, but hope is just a deep longing for something.
But faith is a firm belief in something. It is a strong conviction that something will happen. Faith is an action and can ignite a strength inside you letting you know that everything is going to be alright.
4 – Lean on Others When Life Gets Hard
In dark times, good friends show you the light; but true friends take your hand and walk by your side.
It’s important to reach out to your tribe when you can’t find light in your day. Walking in darkness alone can cause you to only see the negative in your day. By reaching out to your inner circle, they can pull back the clouds and help you get back on course.
5 -Don’t Dwell on the Past
“Yesterday Isn’t Tomorrows Final Word” ~ Joey Zamora
The adversity you faced yesterday is in the past. Don’t bring the pain and anguish forward clouding what will be for you tomorrow. By living in yesterday, you chain yourself to what was, preventing you from moving forward.
Healing from the blows life gives you takes time. But if you cling to these few steps, I have faith that soon the sun will rise and so will you.
“Yesterday is only a reflection; Today is a new beginning, Tomorrow holds limitless possibilities.” ~ KatieMae